Mad Mav. Our colicky baby

When we decided it was time to add a new addition to our family we were over the moon. We found out early on we were expecting another girl and envisioned the never ending snuggles, giggles and bonding the two of them would share all life long. Our firstborn was so “easy”. She was polite, sweet and independent that we used to joke our second would give us a run for our money. And boy we are not wrong. Right around week five we noticed a significant difference in our girl. Her cries seemed to lengthen and never end. And they never seemed to have a reason why. She was fed, changed, warm and comforted. But it didn’t matter. No amount of pacing, bouncing, singing, dim lights or white noise could comfort our girl. We were sleep deprived and worried. And of course, right smack at the start of all this uncertainty, my maternity leave ended. The days were long, the nights way too short. I knew every morning upon entering work that I’d have at least one call a day from my husband telling me he just didn’t know what to do anymore. I felt and still feel gutted. We switched formulas, I stopped breastfeeding (thinking crazily that it was somehow my fault) and called her Pediatrician. There she was diagnosed severe reflux and “colic like“. There it was, that “C” word. I never even thought it was a diagnosis. I thought it was just a term people used for a fussy baby. And I just thought that all babies fussed. I never realized it would get to a point that we wouldn’t be able to soothe her. That we would second guess our abilities to parent and would be to the point of sheer exhaustion mentally and physically that I’d beg and plead for something to give. When she slept, I researched. I had many sleepless nights wondering if all this crying would have long term effects on her developmentally. I wondered if I damaged her by not having the answers. I bought every anti-colic contraption you can think of just trying to find the magic cure. But then I learned that there just isn’t one. I joined many groups and searched for many blogs just to help moms like me feeling defeated. But honestly, there aren’t many. I had a hard time finding hope through all of this so I decided to share our journey with our “Mad Maverick” in hopes that anyone else that stumbles upon this at 3:30a.m won’t feel so alone. And that you realize you are a good mom.